The Revelation
by arielbelle
Summary: Bella comes to a shocking revelation: She suddenly sees two ways of living and she chooses the path she could have taken naturally. Rated M for mild language.


I don't own Twilight. I don't own the books or the movies. This is based in or around the time that New Moon meets Eclipse. The idea [probably] isn't [completely] original, but here's my take on it. Bella saves Edward in Italy but when they get back home, Bella has a revelation.

Edit: I don't know that I could continue this or not; I could go forth in what happens in their life but I really just had this pinging in my brain for a while now since I'm reading the series again. ;) Constructive criticism is great but mean reviews are annoying. Thank you for reading!

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Edward had left me. The world was still moving, but my heart didn't know it. After Sam Uley had found me in the woods, I knew better than to think that I was fine. After I'd met Jacob Black though, the world had started forming back together. The hole in my chest wasn't mending exactly, but it was filling up some. Somewhere along the way, I'd begun realizing that he wasn't filling the hole but he was creating his own. After the cliff-diving incident, and subsequently the Italy incident with Edward, my life had changed. I loved Edward with all my heart, but I knew instinctively that things had changed. Jacob wasn't talking to me, but that didn't change the way I felt. I needed to see him, to make him feel better. I needed him in my life.

As I lay there on the couch, Edward attempting to hold me while I watched Julius Caesar for English class, I think about Jacob. Edward has strict rules against me going to La Push, but the more I think about it, the less I truly care about whether he wants me to go or not. It was never his choice; he left me. Jacob's my absolute best friend and I need him. Edward's back stiffens and I know why. I roll my eyes as he hisses into my ear 'no!" I stand up, pissed off now. I stalk upstairs without really paying attention to where Edward is. I know that I should watch, because he's probably upstairs already. After I jerk open my bedroom door, I sigh when I see Edward lying back on my bed. He is like a stone and I'm annoyed. "Bella." He said his musical voice hard. "You cannot go see Jacob." He said; his tone final. I roll my eyes and plop down in my computer chair. "I don't think you should be able to control me." I say, my voice more controlled than I felt. It was always the same way, Edward telling me no. I was getting very tired of it.

"I'm not controlling you Bella, be understanding for a minute. Jacob is a young werewolf, new to his powers. I cannot let you just walk into a situation where he could easily hurt you." Edward said, crossing his arms over his chest. I bite my lip, screaming without opening my mouth. Edward's eyes darken and he moves over to me. Locking his thin fingers around my wrists, he meets my eyes. "Please Bella." I shake my head. "Go home Edward." I replied in a demanding voice. He looks mad as hell as he backs out of my room and heads downstairs. Charlie should be home at any moment, and I can't stand the thought of staying here any longer. I wait to make a plan until after I figure Edward's already home. I know that Alice can easily tell Edward where I am going after my future disappears from her vison of the future.

After a proper amount of time, and having not thought of anything of importance, I hop into my truck and decide to go to Jacob's. It was hard shielding these thoughts for the ten minutes it would take Edward to make it home. I drive my poor truck into La Push and park in front of the red house where Jacob lives. I hop out of the truck and Jake is instantly there, wrapping his arms around me in a bear hug. I grin and hold on to him. "I missed you Jacob." I say, barely able to get it out because he is squeezing me too tightly. He realizes this and after he let go of me, he grabs my hand. "I sure missed you, Bells honey." He grins and my world is right again. I smile and lead him towards the beach. I can't stand the idea of being inside on the nice, sunny day. We sit on a log and look at the ocean.

It feels like home; being with Jacob. My heart swells. I grin to myself and he holds my hand. I look into his beautiful eyes and my heart quivers. I never knew this kind of love. It's not as bold as my kind of love for Edward, but it's comforting and exciting. His temperature makes me feel really warm and happy. I meet his eyes and I can tell he is thinking along those same lines. A second later, my thoughts catch up with me. I _Love_ Jacob? I start at the word. I can't love him. I am completely and totally in love with Edward. I bite my lip and Jacob's momentarily distracted by Quil running across the beach towards us. I take the time to do an inventory on myself. I am sweaty, nervous, anxious, and my heart thuds harder as I look at Jacob. I know now what I was only lying to myself about before.

This is where the hard part comes into my way of thinking. I love Jacob. He is my sun. However; I love Edward. He is my moon and stars. And I am at an impasse. I need them both in my life. I glance at Jacob who is apparently talking to me. I bring my attention back into the present as he says again "Bells, I have to go.. Sam's calling the pack." I nod, my heart breaking a little at the thought of leaving him. He smiles and kisses my cheek and whispers, "I hope I can see you soon." He winks playfully and runs off into the woods. I decide to head back home.

I get into my ancient truck and start it up, waving goodbye at Billy. Something in his eyes lets me know he knows my secret somehow. Billy's always been good at sensing things. I smile a little and drive off. The ride home is full of anxiety. I see lights appear behind me but I do my best to ignore them. I pull into my driveway next to Charlie's police cruiser and I sigh in relief as the lights pass by. I know instinctively that it was Edward, but I knew since we'd had our fight earlier that he would leave me be for the night. I regret that and I'm happy about it at the same time. I need the extra time to think.

Charlie has ordered pizza and I grab a slice, nuke it in the microwave, and then go upstairs with it. Charlie doesn't come after me, even though I haven't spoken a word. I start up my computer and I wait for it to load. I toss the napkin I had grabbed in the trash can and shower while it loads. I get rid of all the pop-up ads and load up my email. I read the email from Renee and I reply, though it's toneless and not helpful. I knew she'd want a response either way. I turn on my cd player after turning off the computer, plugging in my headphones. I play a cd that Jacob had said he loves. It's infectious and I smile. I eventually turn it off to think things through.

It's Jacob. He's the one I can have a life with. Things can be normal, things can be good. He's everything I can't let go of, everything human. I smile to myself. I frown, knowing that Edward will be hurt. But that's what I know I need. I love Edward so much, but I know that my life with him, though it would last forever, it would never give me a life I need. I couldn't have a family, have anything that Jacob could offer. _A family?_ I question myself. It's all wrong. It's too confusing. I knew Alice was probably filling in Edward on the confusing future scenes playing in her head. I grimace, knowing I'm probably causing Edward pain. I wish there was a way I could keep both of them, but at some point they'll want me to choose. Well, I amend; Jacob would want me to choose. Edward would be unselfish and probably wouldn't fight it, if that's what I wanted. I shut my eyes, my head thudding. My life is exceedingly complicated now.

I drift off to sleep, hoping than an answer comes in the form of a dream. It does; but it's more confusing than helpful. I see my two futures, laid out in front of me. In one side of my dream, I'm a vampire. I have the perfect, hauntingly beautiful features. I have the grace of a gazelle, the smarts of a genius, and Edward perfectly wrapped around my body. I smile right before the other side of my dream appears. In this side, I'm looking in on a crowded house, with four children with a beautiful russet colored skin, dark brown hair, and my eyes. I smile as the older three kid's wrap their arms around me, a baby nestled in my arms. I'm not much older and Jacob looks the same. I smile as he leans over and kisses me deeply. He whispers, "I love you Bells." And he puts his forehead against mine.

This dream has me sighing in happiness as I wake. I look over at the clock and it's eight. I know Edward will want to talk today; I'm surprised he hasn't wanted to before now. I close my eyes and sigh. I owe him some kind of explanation at least. I know that it won't be easy for him to accept that I am in love with Jacob; that I want to be with him. After breakfast, I clean the kitchen and then clean my room as well. I decide it's time, so I get in my truck. I frown and I drive towards Edward's house, stopping at the school's parking lot when I see Edward's Volvo parked. It was too coincidental; he was there for a reason. I park next to him and he climbs into the cab of my truck. We stare at each other for a moment and I bite down on my lip. He notices the movement and his face is a mask of calmness. I sigh because I know he is aware of what is going on.

"You love Jacob." He states, not asking it as a question. Surely Alice must have told him this much. I bite down on my lip again and nod. His face doesn't betray any feelings, but his eyes hold a world of sadness. I look down, not able to look at his sweet face. It's my own private hell. I've had to go without him before, and this might mean I'll never see him again. But I know in my mind that I can't just make it without Jacob. He'd taken a role that is deep in my soul. I'd once thought I wished he were a brother, but I rescind that now. I can't go without him. I'd proven to myself that I could survive without Edward. Though I had been half a shell, a broken person, Jacob had come into my life and patched me up. It wasn't perfect and I was purposefully seeking Edward's image, but I had been trying. What I knew was that when Edward forbade me from seeing Jacob, there was a hole in my chest. I needed him beyond what I'd thought until recently. My revelation was taking over my whole existence.

Meeting Edward's eyes this time was a mistake. He looked pained and I swear it made me want to cry. "Edward…" I began, but I couldn't finish. He hugged me close for a moment. "Bella, it's okay. If you want to be with Jacob I certainly won't stand in your way. Just promise me that you won't let him or anyone else harm you." He said and I rubbed away tears. He shook his head and kissed my forehead. "May you be happy with Jacob always. I won't lie though, I can't stay here. We'll be leaving again." He said, and I felt my heart breaking again. I had expected it this time; it was my fault after all. I wanted to tell him to please don't go, to stay with me. Maybe I could have worked out some sort of situation where all three of us were happy. But that wasn't how this was going to work out. He frowned and pushed me back to my side of the truck gently. In a moment, he was gone. I knew I would never see him again. I took it hard, even though I had completely chosen this life for myself. I went home and cried.

That next morning, I had to go to school. I couldn't stop crying long enough to go to school. I felt stupid and petty because I made this decision. However, I faked sick and Charlie let me stay home. I waited around until three, when I knew that Charlie wouldn't be home but Jacob would be home from school. Maybe he could make me feel better. My tears had dried up for the moment and I knew that this was my chance. I arrived at Jacob's tiny house in record time. Billy smiled but there was some level of uncomfortable in his gaze. I smiled back and he went to tell Jacob I was there. Jacob was in his room, asleep. I went to the bedroom and sat down on the little bit his big arms and legs didn't cover and waited for him to wake up. I fell asleep as well and I only woke when he whispered "Bells?" I smiled sleepily and he wrapped his arms around me. "What's wrong?" He asked, sensing my unease. I shrug and bite my lip. He sits up, jostling me very little as he sits me next to him.

"I… Jake…" A tear falls and he catches it with his thumb. He hugs me tight and frowns, waiting patiently. "Edward left." I say and I get a growl in response. I shake my head. "It's my fault." I say, putting my head on his shoulder. He rubs my hand absently. "How?" He can't even form a question that would satisfactorily ask how I ran Edward off for the second time. I look down. "I told him I'm in love with someone else." I look up and Jacob has major jealousy in his eyes. "Another guy? I can't fucking win can I?" He says, and I shake my head. I lean in close and he says "Bella, who is he?" I smirk and though I'm trying to hold myself together, I say "Shut up Jake." Our lips meet and he loses all coherent thought. I can tell because he crushes me against him, the flames of the heat and fire was suddenly shooting out from everywhere. I push him back but not because I don't want the kiss; I am pushing him because I can't breathe. He senses rejection though instead of the truth and he pulls away, mumbling something. I shake my head. "Kiss me Jake, but remember I'm human and not some freakish werewolf." Our eyes meet and he smiles and kisses me deeply. After we pull away, I hear him whisper "I love you Bella Swan." I grin and press my forehead against his beautiful russet skin. "I love you, Jacob Black."


End file.
